Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
