Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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