Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
