found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
