member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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