Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
