Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize