Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
