at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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