Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
