Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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