I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i believe in u and ur pee
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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