you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just invented taco cereal.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
