before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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