He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
