Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
