yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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