I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
