Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
