i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
