Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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