it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
