Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
