really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
