If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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