Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
How external is "for external use only"?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
