I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
