Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
