if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
