idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
