you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
