is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize