i permit you to call me
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
