we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
