she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
