i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
