I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
