he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
