its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
