So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
