I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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