He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
