Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
