Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
