I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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