You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
