# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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