i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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