I must be too annoying 4 u.
look no pants
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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