Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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