if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
