Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
