you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
