i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
