Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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