ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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