I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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