WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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