Say something about gay babies.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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