i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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