I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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