Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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